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Trump Boasts Annual Physical Turned Up No Signs Of Pedophilia

The Onion Staff· ·1 min read · 0 reactions · 0 comments · 17 views
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Trump Boasts Annual Physical Turned Up No Signs Of Pedophilia
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President Donald Trump announced that his annual physical revealed no signs of pedophilia. He emphasized the thoroughness of the tests and claimed to have tested negative on all relevant assessments. However, doctors noted that further testing was needed for certain age groups.

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The Onion · The Onion Staff
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Politics Trump Boasts Annual Physical Turned Up No Signs Of Pedophilia Share Share on Facebook Share on X Share on Bluesky Share on LinkedIn Share on SMS Share on WhatsApp Email this Page Published: May 27, 2026 WASHINGTON—Proudly declaring that the exam revealed what he had known all along, President Donald Trump boasted Wednesday that his annual physical turned up no signs of pedophilia. “The doctors gave me the most thorough pedophilia testing you can get, and I’m totally clean,” said Trump, who claimed he had not only tested negative on pedophilia blood and urine tests but had also consistently pointed to pictures of adults when asked which persons of various ages he was sexually attracted to.

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