Prepare your "no" and keep it handy
The article discusses the importance of preparing a polite and effective way to say 'no' to unwanted requests. It suggests writing a concise and considerate refusal in advance to avoid discomfort in high-pressure situations. The author shares their experience of using this method successfully and encourages others to create their own version.
- ▪The author emphasizes the need to prepare a polite 'no' in advance.
- ▪A well-crafted refusal can save time and emotional distress.
- ▪Memorizing the gist of the refusal helps in face-to-face situations.
Opening excerpt (first ~120 words) tap to expand
Prepare your “no” and keep it handy 2026-05-14 Someone asks you to do something, and you feel that pressure to answer immediately. You don’t really want to do it, but don’t know how to say so on the spot. You avoid confrontation, and say OK. You regret it, and later think of how your ideal eloquent self should have said no. I felt the pain of this, over and over again. Then I finally figured out a solution that’s worked wonderfully for years. I took an hour to write a really nice “no” in advance. Considerate, but decisive. Not too long, but not too short. Generalized and versatile for all situations. I saved it on my computer and phone, to copy and paste. Now as soon as I get an unwelcome request? Tap-tap-tap. COPY-PASTE-SEND in three seconds, and it’s out of mind. No anguish.
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Excerpt limited to ~120 words for fair-use compliance. The full article is at Derek Sivers.
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