My First Grader Wet the Bed. Her Reaction to it Haunts Me.
A parent seeks advice on how to address frequent dishonesty in their 6.5-year-old and 4.5-year-old children, particularly regarding bedwetting and accidents, which they suspect stems from embarrassment or fear of getting in trouble. Experts suggest focusing on the underlying causes of the behavior rather than the lying itself, emphasizing normalization and emotional support. Creating a safe environment where children feel comfortable telling the truth is key to fostering honesty and reducing shame.
- ▪The parent has noticed both children avoiding the truth about minor incidents like bedwetting and accidents.
- ▪Experts say lying at this age is developmentally normal and often linked to embarrassment or emotional coping.
- ▪The recommended approach is to normalize bodily accidents, model vulnerability, and avoid shaming to encourage honesty.
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Care and Feeding My First Grader Wet the Bed. Her Reaction to it Haunts Me. I’m seeing a pattern. Advice by Arionne Nettles May 04, 20266:00 AM Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Getty Images Plus. Copy Link Share Share Comment Copy Link Share Share Comment Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Dear Care and Feeding, I have a 6.5-year-old first grader, and I’ve started noticing more instances where she isn’t being honest—usually about small, everyday things. For example, she’ll say she didn’t wet the bed when it’s obvious she did, or I’ll ask, “What do you have?” and she’ll say, “Nothing,” while I can clearly see a snack bar in her hand.
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