I spawn random interests and I don't know why
The author describes experiencing a constant flow of random interests across diverse fields such as quantum mechanics, PCB design, music, and animation, which prevents them from feeling a sense of focus or purpose. They struggle with feeling fragmented in a career culture that values specialization, often comparing themselves unfavorably to others on platforms like LinkedIn. Despite the confusion, they find vitality in intense learning and suggest allowing uncertainty as part of the journey.
- ▪The author frequently dives into varied topics like distributed systems, embedded hardware, and emotional perception in film without settling on one.
- ▪They feel mentally restless and only find peace during sleep, overwhelmed by continuous curiosity.
- ▪Modern career expectations around specialization make broad curiosity feel irresponsible, despite the personal fulfillment it brings.
- ▪The author finds LinkedIn discouraging because others appear to have clear career paths while they feel adrift.
- ▪Moments of intense learning are when the author feels most alive, even amid uncertainty.
Opening excerpt (first ~120 words) tap to expand
May 16, 2026 I spawn interests randomly... Navigating random sidequests source: google images Sometimes I wish that I had something to stick onto like a niche or a skill that I can keep doing for the rest of my life. But it had never come. I still keep stumbling upon things that are tangential for me to do, like watching hours and hours of Quantum Mechanics lectures from MIT OpenCourseware, try to learn PCB designing, trying to learn music, art (animation), UI/UX designing? And the list never exhausts. I know the reader might think that this is a classic “doesn’t-go-into-depth-does-want-all” kinda behaviour but I just can’t help it. Because of this trait, I can’t find my purpose or my lane yet and that makes me so confused all the time about what I am doing and what I should do.
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Excerpt limited to ~120 words for fair-use compliance. The full article is at Github.
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